An exchange with a friend, took place this morning.
I basically, had a lull keeping up with some lately! And some, were wondering if it was ‘just work’!
As much as I appreciate the concerns of those who ‘think’ I’m an ‘ok’ human, and one they seem to enjoy staying in contact with; I find the subject of ‘deep or heavy’ personal discussions, to be the least comforting, if I am discussing, my own issues!
I am a great listener. But I find, I neither enjoy talking about my own issues in reverse_after all, this is why I come here to this wordosphere ;)!_, nor do I enjoy, unclear expectations, of why am I listening to you, in person I mean!
I’ll explain so I don’t sound like the shallowest human around:
– If I am going to listen! I need to know what’s expected of me! Do you need me to just listen?! If you do! I am happy to do just that!! I understand and do believe, we humans, have a need to just…feel.. we are!!…being heard. Again, that’s why I come here to blog sometimes! However, if you need my input? I need to know before hand too! So I can, come up with soooo many ideas..to dig you out 🙂
* * *
I’ve been quiet with Shell lately! And this am, her and I, had the most wonderful and honest, exchange!
Shell: Holidays can bring out a lot of stuff. Did you know that the average relationship, say one where you have to set boundaries, can only last 3 days max before reverting back to old habits? That’s huge if you are filled with days or weeks of socializing, what does that do to your inner brain? And throw Christmas markets and business planning on top of that and you have a recipe for an overload.
Taking a moment or many is good. What is the use of continuing to push forward if everything inside screams “halt”.
It’s not stopping, it’s just pausing.
When someone walks a tightrope, they pause between each step to keep their balance, without that pause, you would fall.
Anyone who thinks a pause is unnecessary enjoys the drama of losing their balance. You know the type, the ones that come in and say life is so busy and chaotic, they don’t pause between the steps….
You had a huge finish to your 2019, and now you are balancing how to bring about what you learned that year into 2020
Me: Trusting you are ‘the one person’ who understands, I won’t hesitate to tell you how one on one meeting with others make me feel ‘sometimes’! Here’s how my brain and personality operates: Deep subjects, exhaust me. I believe there’s a time for those! I most certainly believe in how important it is, to share our (not so uplifting) thoughts and experiences with those we trust! But, for me personally?! I find, I am more comfortable listening than ‘sharing’. I know my strengths, but I’m also aware of my weaknesses.
I can listen, and listen, and help find solutions, and brainstorm ideas..abt anything really! I feel..honoured..when friends open up! However, if I’m personally stuck with any ‘family, friends or even relationship issues, past or present?! I feel completely clumsy, incoherent and even awkward..if I attempt ‘talking abt it’! I believe it stems from pride, as well as perhaps, wanting to be a positive light for others, rather than a dimmer 🙂
* * *
Shell, is incredibly bright! I enjoy her brain! Immensely.