Still Learning

The heart…

It gets broken into so many pieces. Then we kneel down, look for them through the fog, gather them one by one, grab our little girl’s/little boy’s glue stick, wipe down the tears (if we can find any. I haven’t been able to) and patch them all up.

We breath a little sigh of relief, when the heart, is whole again. We’re going to be ok. We whisper to it.

We then, run our fingers faintly..on the joining lines…

We stare at the lines! Wishing we could make them all disappear. If only we could just get our heart back the way it was!!! It’s way too deformed now! It doesn’t feel the same! But …we can’t.

Does the pain make sense?! Big part of me screams ‘NO! NO! IT DOESN’T!’. I know better! I know not to give in to the lulling sweetness of pain! I’ve made my vow to always laugh! I’ve lost faith in pain, long time ago.

Get up little heart.

Get up….I’ll fix you.

I’ll kneel down. I’ll pick you up. I’ll talk to you…until you get…a little stronger.

_________________

Photo: unsplash

Author: Kat

I used to work as a graphic designer, until one day I was tragically and blissfully hit by two colliding meteors! One caused my falling in love with the world of coffee! And the other resulted in me falling out of love with the not so wonderful and nearly suffocating office culture! I left the glamour of the design world, and opened up my little café! Those were the best years of my life! I say ‘were’, because (wait! May be another time! But please do ask me if you ‘must’ know and can’t sleep tonight unless I tell you!) For the past three years, I have been living in a pyramid shape house in a middle of a green forest in the summer; a green forest buried underneath lots - I mean LOTS - of snow in the winter. I used to ‘think I still do ;)’ love the city! With its buzzing energy! I love to travel and seeing different food and coffee scenes...preferably alone! visiting ‘quirky and unusual’ places! I do not love visiting museums, hugely commercialized areas, malls and landmarks! I love old and full of heritage ‘anything’! I also love, to sit in a busy coffeeshop ‘reading quietly’ and not talking! Talking exhausts me most of the time! Watching the world unfold.. and thinking ...never does!

11 thoughts on “Still Learning”

  1. I lost faith in pain for a long time, too. Mostly because it was a familiar place, one I’d made a bed within comprised of excuses and rationalizations. I stayed there instead of facing head-on the real pain that lay deeper. For me, the only way to truly laugh with all my heart has been to feel that deeper pain with all my heart, too.

    Wishing well, Kat, and love to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ‘…compromised excuses and rationalizations. I stayed there instead of facing head-on the real pain that lay deeper.’ So true Angela. You describe it perfectly. The familiarity of pain. It’s comfortable. It’s what we know. Until our ‘dynamic’ personality detects the flaw in that type of thinking, and it rebels against it and demands better and healthier ways to live. Yes it’s a lot of work, to change what’s faulty and learn to see things perspectively different from what we are used to! But it’s worth it.

      Love to you as well Angela.

      Liked by 1 person

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