After she took a sip of her coffee in what seemed like a completely unmeditated way, still obviously very absorbed in her deep thoughts, her eyes finally did this slow journey from gazing aimlessly through the glass panels, to suddenly examining passer by, then to the tables of people sitting around us, then..to my face. She was now back to our reality!
I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved!
She hesitated as if about to say something she is going to later regret…He mouth opened and did a little gasp, then closed again. Her bottom teeth then, grabbed her upper lip and bit switching from side to another. As if conspiring to prevent her from opening her mouth. Afraid of all the secrets spilling out and drowning her in the midst?! Perhaps…
Her eyes_now staring into mine_ gave out a sense of sudden determination. They betrayed her restrained lips and told me ‘we are doing this. We are ..doing this..’
‘I need to purge my thoughts. I don’t particularly have anyone that I can call or even if I did actually find someone to call, I don’t believe I will find the right words to describe all the confusion I have bottled inside.’ She said in a voice she was obviously attempting very hard to keep neutral, but couldn’t quite control to that extent. Her voice, wore a loud coloured secret! One she was obviously trying to conceal! The loud colour of a very sad soul. At least at that very moment.
We sat there facing each other for about a minute. Neither one of us said anything. I think I smiled to encourage her to continue, but I decided to remain quiet and waited for her next move..or word.
So, that’s why she’s here this morning!…I thought to myself while I was sitting there quietly listening, offering her a little nod every now and then! Assuring her I am safe. She…is safe…to share.
She began to carefully lay down all the injured birds trapped inside her little tiny rip cage. How on earth could she have had all of them..fit in there?! I stopped nodding. But I tried to remain composed.
Image: Jakob Kaputsnak/unsplash