Today, my friend’s grandmother passed away. I found out on fb.
Today, my friend withdrew inside her shell again! She won’t answer calls or reply to messages.
Today, someone’s puppy also passed away. I am not particularly fond of the owner, but incredibly sad to hear about their puppy.
Today, I made mistakes. Unrelated to neither favourite grandmothers passing nor lovely puppies departing and crossing the bridge to the rainbow!
Today, and before I heard the ‘real’ sad news about how death makes you stop and forces you to take a look at yourself and feel incredibly silly for rumbling over silly trivial issues, I rumbled and acted proud and even combative.
Today, I complained about neighbours posting pictures on fb, promoting different coffee companies they raved about in the city, and neglecting to even mention mine while I live…across the road from them.
I couldn’t understand why! And I complained about it to another neighbour, during our dog walking excursion!
I am not proud of failing to act bigger than this puny little issue! I could’ve chosen to take the higher road! I usually do! Instead, I allowed my frustration over a fb post, to get the best out of my judgment! And in the end? It did not make me feel any better. Instead, I felt more sad, and also disappointed in myself over my reactionary behaviour!
I was left wondering, did maturity and professionalism just join hands, after perishing in each other’s arms, then crossed the bridge to the rainbow on the other side too!!!
If this was a good day, I would’ve shrugged the issue, risen above it and said ‘It’s ok! No big deal! Not the end of the world! Yes my neighbour who says they love my coffee, chose to ignore mentioning mine and promoted different other establishments instead on social media! When I could have used the support too, at least ‘some’ support, considering I’m a small operation and I’m RIGHT HERE! Living across the road, and you say you love my coffee! I’m standing here waving…Can’t you see me?! …..At the same time, I know, complaining about it, isn’t going to solve anything in the end! And would just make me feel…frivolous!’. I could’ve had that pep talk with me and myself! Well, I didn’t.
The truth is, I do need to think about this. What is my issue with demanding ‘consistency’???! What’s my deal with expecting ‘loyalty’?! What’s my bone with…’perceived hypocrisy’?!
I need to dig deep. I need to question those black and white beliefs. I believe in freedom. But, where do I draw the line, between..respecting freedom of opinions and choices, and freedom laced with…sabotage and disloyalty? And…what if it was all….unintentional????
Maturity! I’m still searching…