It hit me yesterday.
The thought of ‘I need to reopen my cafe all over again’!
Creating a safe atmosphere
Creating warmth for people to gather
I know the ‘right ingredients’ and I’m not about to go down the list of every detail. There are so many.
I enjoy it
And, I love to sit back and watch people come together and have a great time.
It was incredibly simple the other night. I didn’t fuss. But I did love seeing smiles everywhere.
I baked 3 different…pizzas (yes pizzas! Nothing fancy)
Mediterranean (of course)
Yes from scratch. Along a REALLY AMAZING Charcuterie board, freshly baked Pistachio, lavender and vanilla French Macarons that turned out amazing…and voila! I was ready! Even in my minimalist house/lifestyle where I keep purging!
That’s where it all started.
Mother said I wasn’t ‘planned’. The princess she was, could not, deal, with an ‘unplanned’ child while she was busy with her friends. But hey, I am not going to blame my mother one bit :)! I don’t see the point of even going there! And this is a lesson to us all! ‘Let it all go! Not worth it! You have no idea what the circumstances were! Who knows?!’
So yes, absolutely no grudges against my mother.
My father adored me. She neglected me. So what?! I forgive her. I like to think she kind of likes me now :)! Did I mention we only talk on the phone?! Wink
No it wasn’t always that easy. Just please rest assured it wasn’t. Just take my word for it. Details?! Unnecessary at this point. Someday I will share. If it fits or serves a point (picture me smiling while saying that)
– Jumping to an unrelated subject: I insist, completely insist: ‘Novo Amor’ has some songs that I prefer over ‘Bon Iver’. I say this as this one song is playing. See! I keep getting into this really silly debate about how ‘dare Novo Amor ‘copy’ Bon Iver’! Why am I the only one who sees the similarities but don’t mind???!
Back on subject:
My father saw me. He did.
I have many memories, but I’d say my favourite was:
Coming back to visit from Uni. Our parents’ house, used to be sooooo quiet. Kids left to pursue dreams. I was the youngest. I visited.
I’m in the big quiet hallway.
I am skipping towards the living room. Skipping and humming a song.
My father. I suddenly noticed! He was standing there smiling and tearful.
‘How do you bring life to this quiet place?!’
I want this to be my forever story.
‘Bringing life. Light. Smiles’
Am I too old to reopen?!
Yes I get tired more often now. I’m used to living like a ‘domesticated’ wild Kat by now. It’s been four years hidden in the woods.
I get it. Then I don’t. But I know, the ‘deep’ love towards the closest human to my wild nature, never leaves, even when I don’t understand.
I just…need to try.