Today, marks my very first fundraising!
I decided to let go of my prolonged hesitation! My fear of rejection..and my pride!
I decided to try making this Christmas less stressful on a few families I know. I have been struggling with this! I am not close friends with them, and I could’ve said to myself ‘I wish I could do something but what can I do?!’! And leave it at that! I’ve done that before many times! We all have.
This time around, I decided to do something! They have kids! That changed it all for me!
So far, not bad at all! The support has been great from my coffee customers especially!It’s looking pretty good!
At the same time, this whole thing caused me anxiety! What if I offend those I’m trying to help?! What if they are to discover it was I! How would that affect my relationship with them?! What if they refused the help?! What if …filled my head!
Action. Action is my thing. Doing something about ‘it’! Whatever it is! I don’t always succeed! I fail to do ‘something’ at times! A lot of times..
What did I learn from this experience so far?!
I learnt, doing something like this takes nerves and requires courage! I’m not one to ask. And asking others to help others ‘through me!’, felt very unnatural and even awkward! It’s not easy at all!
I learnt, that your heart gets full of amazing gratitude, when ‘your people’, in my case my coffee customers and friends, decided to support me. The trust is overwhelming but so so beautiful! You feel that warmth swimming in your heart! It’s a new type of warmth! That I have never felt before! And that is pretty cool!
I also learnt, I may not be too too bad at this after all. The art of getting others, to help others. To find humanity and spread it around. To inspire others to care. It’s a beautiful thing.
I wish, I could fill the world with creative ideas that inspire us all, to be there for one another! Our humanity is THE most beautiful thing that we can give! I truly believe in that!
What I have also learnt, sometimes…the ones we least expected to exhibit ‘actual’ care! May surprise us! And the ones, that we expected to help, simply don’t! They just magically disappear. But I sort of, knew that already! I don’t get shocked as easily anymore! I think a lot of how humans behave! And my cynicism is well established deep in my psyche! I don’t trust easy! But if I give you my heart, my word, it’s there forever. And when/if I discover ‘your soul’ is a rare beautiful one, I usually cradle it very gently between my palms. And I may even water it diligently, so it continues to flourish and grow! So it could fill the world…with light.
And I’m still learning…