A Latte & Horses

Staring at my latte this morning! It’s BEAUTIFUL! I still ‘got it’! That skill! To make a killer latte…The truth about my inner thoughts though, are anything but…

I am full of uncertainties…

Today?! Lots of freshly roasted coffee will get delivered. I roasted it all yesterday evening! I truly hope the coffee beans did not sense my lack of inner peace during the coffee roasting session last night! If they did?! My business may be in jeopardy!

I picture the aromatic coffee beans at a customer’s house! After they just picked up a freshly roasted lb or 2 from the grocery store!

Customers driving home… imagining their black gold! That warm intoxicating smell! It’s already there… dancing in their nostrils! The crema, rewarding them with an indescribable heavenly taste!

They get home! They open the package, the beans rush out! The beans start telling stories…The customer gives them a very little chance to finish their stories, before throwing them in the coffee grinder! The beans suddenly look sad! They wish they had a good story to tell before turning into… dust! To have a ‘happy’ legacy before they perish inside the dark ibis amidst the cold sharp blades! But they don’t…their brown tears fall…no one sees them. They hug each other goodbye. Exchange ‘was great hanging out when we were young and green all huddled together inside that burlap bag!’! One zealous optimistic coffee bean is heard yelling…Its voice is nearly muffled by the grinder’s noise..’OUR CAMARADERIE SHALL LIVE FOREVER! will see you all on the other side when we all turn into delicious liquid gold’ Some of the beans pretend they didn’t hear it! As they continue their stoic stand, neither shifting nor moving! Some, on the other hand, attempt their very last sad courageous…smile!

If only, if only the roaster was her usual jolly self last night…but alas….she wasn’t!

That’s what I picture them all say…

I used to be confident behind the bar. The espresso bar that is. Now, I’m not too certain…

Events will be taking place soon! Christmas events. Days of 10 hours straight behind the bar. I should be happy. I love doing it! But then, why the fears?! I am still trying to find out…

Staring at my latte, I also think about tomorrow! Tomorrow marks my first day of my ‘Horses Course’! I’ll be going to hang out with 20 horses or something like that! I’ll count them all tomorrow, at a ranch close by! I’m nervous about that too.

The funny part! It was all my idea. I proposed it to the ranch owner a few months ago! He finally responded he’s ready! So, I should be happy, I love horses, I’ll be hanging out with ‘amazing’ horses! Why the apprehension?! It does not make sense…

I think, it’s a temporary phase I’m going through! It will pass very quickly. I hope..

To whoever is reading this: do not let your fears stop you! They are insidious, but you have the power to question them one by one! Dismantle them! Disarm them! And when you feel triumphant and victorious…When you rise and walk towards your window…and you stand there…looking outside…outside of your uncertainties…I will be standing right behind you..I will then, smile and drape my hands gently over your shoulders…and whisper in your ear ‘thank you for finding..you! Again’

Author: Kat

I used to work as a graphic designer, until one day I was tragically and blissfully hit by two colliding meteors! One caused my falling in love with the world of coffee! And the other resulted in me falling out of love with the not so wonderful and nearly suffocating office culture! I left the glamour of the design world, and opened up my little café! Those were the best years of my life! I say ‘were’, because (wait! May be another time! But please do ask me if you ‘must’ know and can’t sleep tonight unless I tell you!) For the past three years, I have been living in a pyramid shape house in a middle of a green forest in the summer; a green forest buried underneath lots - I mean LOTS - of snow in the winter. I used to ‘think I still do ;)’ love the city! With its buzzing energy! I love to travel and seeing different food and coffee scenes...preferably alone! visiting ‘quirky and unusual’ places! I do not love visiting museums, hugely commercialized areas, malls and landmarks! I love old and full of heritage ‘anything’! I also love, to sit in a busy coffeeshop ‘reading quietly’ and not talking! Talking exhausts me most of the time! Watching the world unfold.. and thinking ...never does!

8 thoughts on “A Latte & Horses”

  1. Kat, you write unlike anyone I have ever read. You hear, you see, sense, feel, know, voices from … many places, many things, many people. Coffee beans, horses, a table, a person with you or not. you give voice in a way that … is quite extraordinary. It is a torturous thing, it is a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing your words with us.

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    1. Why thank you Michael! Bowing…

      I’m new to allowing others to read what I write! I’m trying to not complicate things and to keep it all as simple as possible! I write because I want to, if I want to, when I want to! I never force myself to sit down and write! I am not criticizing those who do by any means! I fully respect the process they believe works for them! I don’t judge, and I appreciate not being judged on my perhaps unorthodox approach to writing! 🙂

      Thank you for your encouraging words! Really appreciate it…

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  2. writing down the fears and the low points is a way of getting over it quicker. and your train of thought shows that, by mid post your heart had started to feel a little lighter, maybe the thought of those horses, or that the coffee beans were all settled, whichever you made it to a better place inside of you.

    the thought of the coming festive season can create an unintentional imbalance, we like it but worry if we can get through it, one day at a time is all we can do and you will too, and write and tell us all about it!

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  3. I think…you are so wonderful Gina!

    Such understanding and supportive words!

    I will report on the horses for sure!

    Have a wonderful day full of sunshine and warmth…

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  4. I am behind, having been in apartment hell for the past few days, and reading your posts our of order, so I know you conquered your fear and ran with the horses and did it super stylishly in your red boots!!!! So Happy for You! Oh and love your writing by the way…a lot!!!

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    1. I’m sorry to hear that?! Is it over yet? I sure hope so!
      Yes I am giving it a try or so it seems! ‘Running with the horses’! I like that! Thank you! 🙂
      Red boots till the black ones say: stop attracting attention and get back to us ‘for good’ 😉

      Thank you so much Susan! Miss your writing…..a lot!!!

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